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1x07 - The Crimesone Binome

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Author Topic: 1x07 - The Crimesone Binome  (Read 950 times)
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« on: July 13, 2007, 11:39:12 pm »

Written by: Lane Raichert
Story by: Gavin Blair, Phil Mitchell, Ian Pearson, Lane Raichert
Guest star: Captain Capacitor
Voice by: Long John Baldry. A binome-one with a peg leg, a hook for his left hand, orange rope mustache, beard, and hair. Wears red tricorn hat.

Synopsis
Mainframe is attacked by Software Pirates. Bob is thrown in the brig, and Dot has to save the day with fancy verbal fencing.

Story
The story starts at the Dock area of Mainframe, where people are walking around and riding bicycles - it looks like a boardwalk beach near the turn of the century (straw hats, handlebar mustaches, bustles, etc). There is a Punch & Judy style puppet show, called Punchcard and Qwerty. A big pirate ship arrives, releasing a horde of flying pirates, all going "Arrr!".

Dot is talking to the police chief when the Ethernet goes off line. Phong tries to pinpoint the cause of the disturbance when Enzo remarks that Bob has an apartment down by the Docks; he can handle it. But Bob is oblivious to the citizens being frozen by file locks; he is too busy singing to himself while repairing his car. The pirates steal his car while Bob is not looking, and Sally the pirate steals Glitch.

Captain Capacitor recognizes the Guardian's tool, and figures to make a profit selling it, especially if he can ransom the Guardian as well. Bob tries to sneak up on the software pirates, but finally realizes that Glitch is missing. He ends up using his own file lock while riding on a pair of hover discs.

Princess Bula, a large South Seas maiden, pops up from the deck and grabs Bob during the exchange for Glitch. Bob is placed in the brig as the ship leaves harbor. (After deploying its virtual sails, the ship jumps into hyperspace.)

Dot and the harbor police commandeer a fast private yacht. (The music from "A Three Hour Tour" plays in the background; the yacht's owner is Mr. Mitchell but sounds a lot like Mr. Howell.) Dot says "He tasks me, and I shall have him."

Bob tries to grab the keys from a sleeping guard (Mr. Jimmy), but is stopped by the force field in the bars. "No one escapes from my brig, except for one." Bob recognizes the signature of the one who got away; Mouse. He throws the cell's bed against the bars and disappears during the flash. After the others have gone, Bob comes out from behind a pillar and says "thanks, Mouse, where ever you are." He then wreaks havoc on the ship, knocking the rudder and cannons off line, so that Dot can catch up with the Crimson Binome. Mr. Edwards, the gunner, fires the only functional cannon, but the yacht is saved when Frisket catches the cannonball.

The pirates get the upper hand, but Mr. Christopher reports that Bob's damage has caused the profit margin to drop below 200%. Dot and Capacitor exchange witty repartee, fencing with words, until it is obvious that the pirate has been outclassed. He goes into business with Dot, who needs someone with his ability to deliver. The captain reveals that his real name is Gavin.

References
    * The title refers to the movie The Crimson Pirate (1952) staring Burt Lancaster.
    * Punch and Judy - a very old puppet show where one puppet hits the other. The punchcard was used to enter programs into
      ancient computers. The English computer keyboard is called qwerty for the top row of letters on the keyboard. (It's different in
      France and other countries.)
    * One of the co-creators of the show is Gavin Blair. He has short copper-colored hair.
    * The quote about "He tasks me, and I shall have him" did not originate with "The Wrath of Khan". It comes from "Moby Dick".
    * Gavin - the Captain's real name is mentioned again in the Season III episode "Return of the Crimson Binome".

Did You Notice
    * Mainframe has two seas - the "A" Sea and the "D" Sea (AC/DC)
    * Grafitti on the ship: "Capacitor is Flacidor", "Sit on it!", "You are here", "I want my MTV".
    * Grotesque and Arabesque -- Sir.Real
    * A pirate version of "Kilroy Was Here" (man with eyepatch sticking his big nose over a fence; same as in the movie "Kelly's Heroes").
    * The previous occupant of the brig was missing a finger. The first 36 days of confinement were marked by four strokes, then four
       strokes with a slash. The last 20 days are four strokes with a slash separated by blank space, as if the poor fellow had his hand
       cut off as well.
    * The name of the pirate ship is the "Saucy Mare". (Best seen about 15 seconds from the end of the episode.
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